“The avocado of evil will be mashed into the guacamole of good!”Īnd I didn't even come up with the third one by myself. “I shall paste the mustard of mercy on the sandwich of your sinfulness!” “The oven of justice will leaven the yeast of your wickedness!” There is but one problem: I am horrible at coming up with food-related badass holy one-liners, and the existing set will get real old real fast. Inspired, I decided that I would make a paladin with ranks in either Profession (Cook) or Craft (Delicious Justice), who would open every combat with just such perfectly delectable lines. “The spatula of purity shall scramble the eggs of your malfeasance!” “The creamer of light will dull the bitterness of your evil, unholy coffee taste!” “The succulent jam of light shall sweeten the sourdough of your evil ways!” “I shall spread the buttery justice of Therin over the toast of your iniquity!” In a post-credits scene, the party paladin Sir Osric spouts off a bunch of food-related righteous one-liners into the darkness. For any of you who have not seen The Gamers: Dorkness Rising (and some of you who have), it is a fantastic fan-made D&D movie that anyone in this forum should probably watch.
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